alMost lOveR

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick
Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images
No
Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

i'M taKen for graNted

i know i don't have the right to complain to him... as a matter of fact i don't have any right over him... he is just my friend... yeah... you know... we're just friend

but i thought that would be just enough for him to at least have a little concern over me... but sadly i think i am the only one assuming and hoping here... it seems that he really don't care...

i envy our other friend because he really care about them... i can see it... i can feel it... but when it comes to me... he's so cold... i have proven this because of what happened last September 10, 2008...

my group mates and i went into a mall to watched their idols in PDA (i really don't care about those amateur singers but since my group mates want to watch it... i come with them... it is also our bonding and relaxing time)...

we are having fun together... but he somehow didn't join us... he prefer to sit in the bench while waiting for the final three girls of PDA...

somehow i feel guilty because we always leave him alone with the laptop... but he's just so reluctant to join us... and we actually understand... we didn't force him...

finally... the final three arrived... and the younger sister of one of my group mates also arrived and join us while we take pictures etc....

it just so happen that he had a crush on that girl... my group mate's younger sister so no question about it...

unfortunately... at the middle of the event, the rain suddenly poured until the end of the said event...

worst... i don't have umbrella... only him and one of my group mates bring umbrella...(we are actually five including the younger sister and only 2 had umbrella)

i didn't asked for his umbrella so i really didn't mind if he offer it to our other group mate.. not minding if he will be the one getting soak in the rain...on our way home...(we're supposed to ride the same route which means we will both get soaked in the rain... i actually didn't expect him to lend his umbrella because of the same reason...)

that's fine with me... actually... i didn't mind getting soaked in the rain...
but what hurts me is that... he joined them in the separate route... in short... he left me alone...

the four of them took the same route... and i took the different route because that's the way to our home... me and him but he choose to be with them which means i was left alone...

i walked in the rain and get soaked... alone... i was alone in the jeep... in the front ride because no more space inside... and literally get soaked on the way...

i feel pity for myself... i feel sorry for myself...

i wonder why he have to join them and let me be with myself... i really don't mind if he didn't offer me his umbrella first because i didn't asked for it... but why did he have to leave me alone...?

i would like to be angry with him but i can't... because i liked him... and i'm jealous...

you really don't care about me... right kua ronelio?? because if you do... you shouldn't do that... if i happens to be majo or janel or charmagne or ate marianne or ela or ira or even rohanie... you wouldn't let me go home alone...

but i am just rlyn so you don't mind and you don't care...

i cry that night... it hurts when your friend or your love one is taking you for granted...

Love Hurts.... as it aLways doEs in Me....

it is so hard...

hard to breathe...

hard to live...


in lies...
in hopes...
in expectation...


to be a friend...
to be a lover...
to be a pretender...

love always hurts me...
it always give me the scar that takes so long to heal...

it's hard to say sorry...
thank you and
forgive me...

it hard to love someone secretly...

a love from a distance...
a love that could never be...

i never fall short of love but
it is love that always fall short of me...

it's hard to tell the truth...
to know the truth and
accept the truth...

but truth will set as free

so i asked myself
do you wanna be free?
or
continue to leave and hide in my shell
to avoid myself from more pain...
bruises and wound... cause by this stupid feelings??
what do they call this??
oh... yeah...
they call it LOVE...

DAMN IT!!!

help... because once again...
I'm falling...
help... because once again...
there's no one to catch me...

yeah... he's not here..
he's no where to find...

he let me fall...
when he's not willing to catch...

I'm so stupid to allow myself to fall again after I've tried so hard to gather myself after a great fall cause by the one i loved so deeply... yet unwilling to take and give my love back...

i'm alright now... i hopes so... i though so...

haha!!!


how ironic... when the one you love doesn't love you back and is also in love with someone who doesn't love him back...


hah!! that's life... that's love...

love is DamN...!!!!
and i'm such a stupid to believe again...